Stop, Just STOP!

Alright, so I admit I'm terribly poor. However, I want to give back this holiday season. And for the record for me the holiday is Christmas. Don't celebrate it? That's fine to each their own. Now, I can't afford to donate, because I'm having a hard time getting money together for a winter coat of all things. So gift or care packages are out of the questions as well. BUT I'm an artist! So I learned that you can send cards to soldiers over seas or even to soldiers recovering in hospitals here in the states.

So here's my master plan. Most years I draw out a Christmas card design on a 9x12 inch piece of paper and then color it with color pencils. Then I take a photo of it and put it into Photoshop. From there I shrink the image down to card size add my words and then print them out. Then I told and then I take the time to write out loving messages to my friends and family. I then I cut out and fold my own envelopes for the cards and seal them up.

I figure I can afford to print out a few more and write some nice things to some soldiers who are serving are country and are away from home and family. They deserve to know that there are people out there that believe that they are worth a thank you. And that we think about them. So that's the Grand Plan.

So why the title? Everyone around me has these strange ideas about how, when, and what I should be doing. I want to do this my way. I can do cards. There are places that I can send the cards and then they send them off to the soldiers. I think that's wonderful. It has to be cards, I can't do anything else. I'm poor. Let me say that again. I'm POOR! In fact I am so poor, I'm not too sure I could afford the last two letters of the word poor. So there you go.

That leaves me with When. Yeah, everyone likes to tell me that I can draw anytime I want. They have no idea what my head is like. They don't know my Evil Drawing Muse or anything like that. The lighting that I need or other things that need to be done in the day.

I'm not just an artist but I also like to write. And I am so close to being caught up with my story that I can continue writing it. And does anyone know how hard it is to draw something happy when your feeling sad or depressed? How about when your anxiety is so high you can't really think about what you're drawing? The Muse does not like these times and tends to go away and wait.

I find it hard to draw when there is something else that I planned to do at a certain time. For instance, I want to write in the afternoon so I don't feel that drawing in the afternoon is a good idea. And the lighting is all wrong for evening drawing.

So please stop telling me I can draw whenever. It's just not true. I can only draw when the Evil Drawing Muse says I can. That is the way of the artist. We draw when the muse says so, we stop when they go away. Or when we drop or the pain is too much. You get the picture.

No I Haven't

No I haven't forgotten about my blog. I have just been a rather busy woman. Starting with getting things ready for a weekend at my bestie's house. My best friend in the whole world came up and kidnapped me for a long weekend. We went and checked out a hot air balloon rally where I took a bunch of pictures. Some good, some bad, but the point was I had fun.

I've also had to do doctor appointments and grocery shopping. And please let us not forget the most important thing of all, I HAD to draw. Also after a month of being in one kind of pain or another I was finally able to clean my basement apartment. Which I am very happy for. I really quite afraid of spiders and their homes and since I'm in the basement they tend to like it down here. So cleaning is my best bet. However I forgot to clean the Dust Bunny Graveyards out. I'll have to do that this coming weekend. So yes just a bit busy.

I have not gotten back to writing my book yet. Still life is pulling me away. It's a bit discouraging at times, but I really want to get back to it. I'm sure taking time to write a blog instead of writing on a book is not the best of choices but oh well I don't have time for book today. In a little bit my sister will be here to take me to town to take care of me things, like exchanging a sweater and gathering supplies for a project and other things that are meant for me. I don't take time for me in this manor very often so when I do I go all in.

I did draw today. I'm trying very hard to plunge head long into my art. Of course then I get homework from the shrink that makes me think about stuff that I do and things that I want to do. I might be thinking to much. You can laugh there if you want.

Where does one find the time to do all the things they need to do and the things they want to do? And how does one decide which is which? Right now I don't know the answers. Perhaps that is why I'm having trouble getting back to writing my books. Or why it's been so hard to get back to drawing. And now I find my exercising is faltering. I have all these things to do and many I don't know how to do and people are asking what am I going to do when and if I go back to working like a normal person. I don't even know what I can do if that ever happens.

No I haven't got my life figured out. Yes, I know I'm over 40 and I should have it figured out. No, I haven't forgotten about all the things I want to do. No, I haven't forgotten about all the things I need to do. No, I haven't forgotten about all the things everyone else thinks I should do even though I don't want to and have no plans to do them. No, I just haven't got life all planned out, deal with it.

The Horror

So I upset my Mother's cat this morning. I mean, Sugar, the cat, was really put out by my actions and inconsideration of her feelings and needs. My crime you ask? I dared to sit in my chair at my desk so I could work on my drawing. Oh yes, you read right, I dared to be an artist and it upset the cat greatly.

Now, let's start with the fact that Sugar has never liked it down here in the basement. The basement has only ever held her food, water, and litter box. That is up until last year when the food and water got moved upstairs. I just wish the litter box would go too, since the cat isn't mine. Not that I don't like her, but I have a small space and well, litter boxes smell no matter what. Anyways, recently she's started coming down here to sleep in my office chair at my desk.

My chair is black fabric and Sugar is a light colored cat. So as you can guess she was turning my black chair, white. She's not happy that I put an old towel down so I can keep the chair black and fur free for when I sit in it. But this morning I had to work fast at getting the pillows out of the chair and me into the chair. And then Sugar spent the next hour and a half pacing the basement and crying because I was at my desk.

Even with her temper tantrum I still managed to finish the line work for the drawing. I also pulled out the color pencils I'm going to use. Plus I went through a magazine and took out all the images that I found to use as references. Notably, Sugar hasn't been down here to sleep in my chair all day. Even though I have move into the TV area to work on the laptop.

I have pulled out a story and begun reading it so I can know where I was going with it. I want to finish the story. I've also added a new picture at my Artpal gallery. I'm becoming productive and that's a little scary. Although not as productive as I'd like to be. Baby steps, though are easier to achieve, than giant steps.

I know I have shopping to do tomorrow with my sister. New clothes are required as I have shrunk a lot since last fall and donated all my fall clothes from last year. So I still need at least two new shirts and a fall jacket. Maybe I will find the time to draw in the morning tomorrow. If not there is always Monday.

Sugar has decided to come downstairs now. I think my office has been claimed by her.

Early Morning

So it's an early morning for me. I was up at 3:30 this morning. Why you ask? Pain. Plain and simple. Personally I would have rather it have been my Evil Drawing Muse. At least then I could have gotten some artwork done. But no it was pain and while I did take something for it, thirty minutes later, the pain is still with me. So here I am working on my blog to make it look better because well why not? I want it to be nice. So I figured out how to add links to my art gallery, LRCampbell, and my Facebook page, as well as Twitter. I'm debating tumblr, I'm really not there much. I forgot about Instagram, guess I should update that.

So the question running in my head right now is why does everything keep getting my creative way? I love and prefer to draw in the mornings. The lighting is always perfect that time of day. I'm also the most inspired to draw, and it's just the time my Evil Drawing Muse strikes. Unfortunately other things keep getting in the way. Doctor appointments, grocery shopping, laundry, it all conspires against.

For the record, I don't have a car so my parents usually drive me. Therefore they prefer that doctor appointments be in the morning whenever possible. Also grocery shopping is done in the morning, which I rather like myself, less people to deal with. I live in the basement and the laundry is upstairs. I use to just leave the laundry and go downstairs between loads. That doesn't work so much anymore. However, I now use laundry time to do my baking for my bariatric treats, or sometimes cleaning of the kitchen. Or at times I use it to work on dinner menus.

In any case the morning tends to get away from me and messes up my drawing time. Now I know people wonder why I don't just draw when I wake up really early like today. Well for starters today I hurt, and also there's no sunlight streaming through my bay window.

I want to get back to writing. I'm thinking the afternoon would be a good time to do this, but first I need to read what I've got written so I know what's going on with my stories. It's been awhile since I've worked on them. I suppose some would say that's bad of me. But I've had a lot happen to me over the past year so I think it's a bit forgivable.

If I draw in the mornings and write in the afternoons. That will leave the evenings to play. It all sounds good and it's a wonderful plan. I just wonder if I can make that work. Life has a funny way of getting in there and messing up great laid out plans. Also the Internet is really good at drawing a person away from their work.

Welcome!

So here I am saying welcome to anyone who decides to come and read this. Here is my first post for this blog and really I don't know what to write. Honestly I don't know why I'm doing this to myself as I'm terribly bad at doing things like this. I have a tumblr account I hardly do anything with and well I have had other places to post blogs but I never keep up with them.

I do have a reason for this blog though. In June of this year, that's 2018, I started a gallery to sell prints of my artwork. So far I've sold one whole print. Now some people are saying "That's all?" While I'm thinking that's actually not too bad considering that it was sold within the first few weeks of opening and really some people go for six months or longer before their first sale. So I'm trying to think on the positive side of things.

In case you haven't guessed I'm an artist. I draw fantasy art, fairies, elves, dragons, you get the picture. And yes I sell prints of my artwork. I'll be working on getting the link up here soon. Also I've been know to do some writing. Though admittingly it's been sometime since I've done that, I'm thinking of getting back to it. I use to enjoy it so I don't see why I won't again.

As a little background on me, yes I have my BFA, that a Bachelor's of Fine Arts degree. So yes I'm a real artist. I'm just not famous. I wouldn't mind being one, but you know how that goes. I also enjoy writing. I write science fiction and some fantasy. Mostly science fiction, but alas I'm not published. Except for a little poem I wrote way back before the turn of the century and I can't even remember the book it's in. How sad is that? Poetry is not something I write much of anymore. It tends to take it's toll on me.

Now that's just my creative side. I'm also in the process of losing weight. So far I've lost 192 pound since January 2017. Is that not awesome? I'm very excited about this, and yes I'm seeing a dietitian and doctors regarding my weight loss so I'm doing things right. With the weight loss comes eating completely differently and exercising. Also the want to do more.

Now I'm sure you are all going, what kind of more? So glad you're thinking that. I wanted to sell my art and get out more and be a little more social. I'm recluse so that's a very big deal. There may even come a time when I think I could work a real job, as right now I'm on disability. Which is never what any one really wants. There are other things besides physical problems keeping me from working so there are a lot of things that have to fall into place before I think about going back to work.

In the meantime I want to sell my art online and get back to drawing and writing. They seem to have been moved to the back burners and I really don't like that. I don't see why I can't do what I love. So I just want to say welcome to my blog. Yes I am Great Goddess, it's my nickname, I'll be happy to tell the story at another time. Oh by the way I can at time write a lot and at other write hardly anything. I'm sure it's annoying. Any who that's it for now.